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Jayne Mansfield: Shakespeare, Tchaikovsky & Me

There are just certain topics which lend themselves nicely to the kind of features we like here at VinylCheese. Chihauhau's, Phyllis Diller, anything made by Frederick's of Hollywood. So it is with our very special feature, the ultra-rare Jayne Mansfield LP from 1964 entitled, Shakespeare, Tchaikovsky & Me. What makes Jayne so VinylCheesey? Her penchant for pink? Her over-the-top personna? Her self-cited IQ of (ahem) 163? Her HUGE BOOBS?

We, here at VC, like to think it is all of these reasons and more. We present for evidence this recording. The title is not too elusive. Nope, Jayne recites Shakespeare over the subtle strains of Tchaikovsky playing in the background.

Sounds just about as bad as it can get doesn't it? WRONG! There is the album cover. First, there is the wretched, straw-like helmet wig she is wearing. Paired with her ginourmous fake diamonds, her mink stole and jaundiced tan Jayne is certainly in the forefront of Cheese-i-ness. At least this photographer had the sense to cover up her nasty stretch marks on her breasts that all too often appear in photos of her during this time period. Her ever expanding figure ranged from 40-18-36 to 42-20-36 and finally into her bra-busting 46-24-36! VC Note: Isn't it amazing how her hips never got bigger??? Ladies, I think you know what we are saying here....

"Poetry to me is an expression of our daily lives, our history, loves, accomplishments and disappointments. I can think of no greater beauty than the reading of a Shakespeare sonnet with a background of Tchaikovsky's romantic and beautiful poetic music. It is like a great Broadway musical with words and music by the masters."

Okay, Jayne. We're buying.

If there was ever one reason we wanted to be a member of The Beatles...it is for this reason alone:

When the Beatles came to the U.S. and were asked which American celebrity they'd like to meet they cited Jayne Mansfield. Jayne hooked up with them at the Whiskey A-Go-Go. When she first met John, and saw his shag haircut she asked him if it was real. John quipped, while looking at her breasts, "Are those real?" Supposedly the meeting ended when George Harrison sloshed his glass of Scotch at an inebriated Jayne, and instead hit Mamie Van Doren square in the face.
-- Jayne Mansfield Biography, http://www.bombshells.com/jayne/bio

We aren't exactly sure how this sonnet is an expression of Jayne's daily life, but we'd like to bring you, the discerning VinylCheeser, Upon The Nipples of Julia's Breast.

***ADDED BONUS*** For a limited time only you can download this Jayne Mansfield Winamp skin.