Featured VinylCheese

Lullaby From The Womb

This weeks featured Cheese O' The Week goes to Lullaby From The Womb by Dr. Hajime Murooka.

This is literally what they play in the deepest, darkest pits of hell while Steven King's "IT" clown is administering glaucoma tests to heathen souls, while strapped to a cervix couch with syrupy, buttery french toast slapped on your neck, all the while, having flannel jammies stretched across your Vick's Vapo-Rub chest. Seriously.

"A unique listening environment for the newborn baby - designed to calm and soothe through the actual recorded sounds of a mother's body beat and caressing music by the world's favorite composers."

In reality, the only thing this album could truly bring to your child is severe trauma and humonstrous therapy bills for years to come. If this is what babies really hear in a mother's womb, it would explain why people are so incredibly fucked up.

The only possible explanation for this album is that it was released by SATAN himself. Proof: See the back cover features a naked crying baby and a happy sleeping clothed baby. Symbolizing mankind pre-eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge/unhappy and naked verses mankind post-eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge/happy and clothed. No lie.

With an introduction like that, how could you resist? Relax and indulge your senses in
"Sounds of the Main Artery and Veins of the Mother".
We didn't make this title up. Honest.